Given by his son, Russell Bjorkman II, on Saturday June 27, 2009
One week ago, my father took his own life.
My father was a great Man. My father was the best baseball player in all of Miami in his early teen years. Later in his life, he played golf with his friends, including Richard and Vince, and was very good at golf. My father tried to join the army at 17 but his father wouldn't sign the consent form. My father worked with my grandfather for his whole life. Other than for 4 years, my grandparents were never more than a 10-minute drive away. My father's best friend was his father. My grandfather was the best man at my father's wedding. My father worked for the City of Miami Fire Department for 25 years. My father worked in the worst area of Miami, and was shot at while trying to put out fires during the Miami riots. My father earned an MBA without ever having gone to college – they let him skip the university requirement. My father served as an appointee of the Governor of Florida. My father went to work for an investment firm and became one of the greatest product specialists and salesmen in the entire world. He brought in billions of dollars in assets. My father cared about injustice. He was upset when he felt ordinary people were being taken advantage of. My father used his skills to help others. He was not paid for his work on the City of Miami Pension Fund, the Miami Credit Union, or the Florida State Pension Board. My father cared deeply about education. There is a room in the Indian River State College Richardson Center named after him and my mom.
My dad was a great dad. My dad loved me dearly. When I was young, we spent at least 15 hours a week practicing baseball together. 15 hours. Some kids don’t even get 15 minutes with their dad. My dad loved my sister Diana dearly. One of the only times I saw him truly weep was when my sister and he were arguing a great deal. It tore him up. When my sister and he went through a healing process to work on that, I saw him weep because he loved Diana so much. My father ensured that Diana and I could complete university and graduate school degrees with no debt.
My mom loved my dad with all of her heart. And my dad loved my Mom, truly and deeply. He did the best job he could to provide for her. He tried to love her by protecting her from worrying about anything – financial stress, or his health. One of his great regrets in life was not having spent enough time loving her well. One of the last things he told me was, "Tell your mom how much I love her".
My dad had a hard time accepting love. He told me, "I am sorry for not being a better father and husband."
Dad, I want you to know, that I will always love you. Diana will always love you. And Mom will always love you.
You were a great father and husband.
You were the father and husband God provided to us, and we thank God for you.
We always have, and we always will love you.
I would like to take a minute to speak now to the Men in this room.
It is all too easy today for Men to think they do not need anyone. That close friends and conversations are for women. That Men only need sports and beer. That is not true. The Bible says "As Iron sharpens iron, so one Man sharpens another".
My dad was an island. My dad was an island for not just years, but decades. My dad was really hurting, so so much, but he didn't let himself truly connect – really, truly connect - with his own Band of Brothers.
And although my dad believed that Jesus died for his sins, my dad did not understand the true power of God. My dad had hurts and pains, as every man does.
But we are told that "Come all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". And the Bible says that "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, because God has overcome the world".
Men – we are all broken.
We may have unhappy childhoods- why didn't my dad tell me he loved me? We may have a bad work environment- why are we not being promoted as fast as the next guy?
Maybe our wife has left us for another man. Maybe we think no one accepts us because we’re weird- we don't like football as much as the next guy. Maybe we think no one wants to hang out with us because we're not strong- we prefer going to a play instead of going to the gym.
And we may cover it up with drink, or women, or drugs. But you know what – we may also cover it up with things society doesn’t think is wrong – working too hard; numbing yourself with ESPN until 1 am rather than dealing with your hurt; buying a fancy car; pornography; eating bad foods.
The only real way to heal our brokenness is to develop a relationship with Jesus. Jesus has overcome the world. Jesus can heal all these wounds. There is nothing you have done that Jesus will not forgive and heal, if you just ask Him.
I had wounds too. I had wounds from my childhood. But Jesus has healed me – Jesus is healing me.
And part of how God works is through community. When we sit with another man, a true Brother, and not just watch ESPN but turn the TV off and say –
Hey Man, I noticed you're working til 10 pm every night, do you think you should go home earlier and spend time with your wife? Or – Hey Man, I just read this book on relationships, can I share it with you? Or – Hey Man, I’m feeling really down and I need someone to talk to. Can I come by?
God works in those situations, through community with other Men.
So, Men, I beg you, if you are looking for that joy inside, turn to Jesus.
If you are not in a close relationship with several other Men who you can truly call your Band of Brothers, start to look for it.
And please, Men, look for that isolated Man and reach out to him.
Copyright 2009 The Bjorkman Family. All Rights Reserved.
